“It is the privilege of loneliness; in privacy one may do as one chooses.”
–Virginia Woolf, from Mrs. Dalloway, as quoted in the above book.

I recently borrowed this book, Alone in the Kitchen With an Eggplant, edited by Jenni Ferrari-Adler from the library. Once I began reading, I found myself enthralled and barely took a break until I finished it. There’s something so irresistible about discovering what other people do when they are alone.

I do not live alone, but I work from home and spend a lot of time by myself. I know that my solitary habits are different from how I act with others, especially if those others are people that I don’t know all that well. I would hate to find out that there was a hidden camera in my apartment, let’s put it that way. I frequently sculpt my (unwashed) hair into the most interesting arrangements I can come up with, talk to myself, do spontaneous calisthenics/dance moves and act generally senseless. And that’s when I’m in a good mood. We won’t get into my behavior when feeling tired/depressed/grumpy/anxious–that’s not for here , as they might say on the show Little Britain.

Let’s return to the book. This collection is made up of twenty-six essays by different writers, all on the subject of what and how they eat when they find themselves alone. Some of them were alone often or for extended periods, and some spent only an occasional meal in solitude. All of them were interesting. Of course, there were essays that I preferred over the others because I was more able to relate to them, but in every case I felt that through reading about their solitary eating habits I was able to understand something about that person’s nature. Some of them dreaded eating by themselves, and some of them relished the chance to have a peaceful meal for one; I think that I personally fluctuate from one end of the spectrum to the other. Sometimes I find it relaxing, sometimes it makes me irritable.

This book really spoke to me because it is about so much more than food. How we feed ourselves is representative of how we care for ourselves–we might make elaborate meals for others, but may not ever bother when we’re alone–it seems like too much trouble. After all, cooking alone also means cleaning up alone, so I can definitely understand the appeal of dirtying only a few dishes. Solitary cooking and dining is a great time to experiment with new food combinations and recipes, since you have only yourself to deal with if it turns out to be a disaster.

I think I was most able to relate to Rosa Jurjevic’s essay ‘Food Nomad’, especially one part where she describes wandering through Boston’s Chinatown. I have written before about my walks through Chinatown, and some of the snacks I pick up there. Similarly, I feel very much at home when trying new foods, and despite being brought up on standard East Coast fare I’m just as likely to prepare kimchi fried rice or borscht as I am fish cakes or baked beans. Ann Patchett’s ‘Dinner for One’, M.F.K Fisher’s ‘A is for Dining Alone’, and the title essay by Laurie Colwin were also especially memorable for me.

Since eating breakfast and lunch alone is the norm for me at least 4 or 5 times a week, having dinner by myself is more of an occasion. I’ll often have something warm and comforting like noodle soup or ramen, or might make brown rice and vegetables if I’m feeling more ambitious. I remember having oatmeal for dinner on many occasions while in university, but haven’t done that in awhile. Whatever I have, it would doubtlessly be eaten in front of some sappy movie that I wouldn’t inflict on anyone else, while wearing clashing sweats, huge slippers and a topknot-type hairdo.

“Dinner alone is one of life’s pleasures. Certainly cooking for oneself reveals man at his weirdest. People lie when you ask them what they eat when they are alone. A salad, they tell you. But when you persist, they confess to peanut butter and bacon sandwiches deep fried and eaten with hot sauce, or spaghetti with butter and grape jam.”
–Laurie Colwin, from the title essay.

So, how about it? What is your favorite solitary feast?

If you’re curious, here is the complete list of contributors to this collection: Laurie Colwin, Laura Calder, Steve Almond, Jonathan Ames, Jami Attenberg, Mary Cantwell, Dan Chaon, Laura Dave, Courtney Eldridge, Nora Ephron, Erin Ergenbright, M. F. K. Fisher, Colin Harrison, Marcella Hazan, Amanda Hesser, Holly Hughes, Jeremy Jackson, Rosa Jurjevics, Ben Karlin, Rattawut Lapcharoensap, Beverly Lowry, Haruki Murakami, Phoebe Nobles, Ann Patchett, Anneli Rufus and Paula Wolfert.

Tags: Books, musings

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